Wednesday, April 23, 2014

the thrifted wardrobe

I've been thinking a lot about how much money I spend on different things in my life. Clothes are a huge money sink, but they are also necessary (and I like them). I'm at the point in my life where I have a fairly good idea of my "style," if you want to call it that, and want clothing that will last for a long time rather than need to be replaced yearly. For the most part, I'm over fad fashion.

Something I've been throwing around is thrifting my wardrobe and altering it to fit my needs. Since we're moving to Orlando, I feel like there are bound to be endless possibilities as far as thrift stores are concerned. As my mom has said, the old people population is hiiiigh... and then they die and their families give a lot of their things to thrift stores. (We are not touchy about death in my family, clearly. It's part of life so you might as well have a sense of humor about it or at least be frank.)

Upcycling used clothing would free up some money and make working part-time a real possibility for me. It would mean really growing my skills in the sewing department, but that's something I want to be able to do anyway. But between thrifting and sewing, it would cost me a lot of time and effort to get a useful wardrobe that I also like.

This kind of thinking is why I have trouble committing to anything in my life. Except being a mama to my Roo, because that's an easy commitment.


I feel like I should end this with some sort of proclamation or intention, but these are just my assorted thoughts. Sorry. At least my writing is only 20% as messy as my thinking.

As a consolation prize here are three sewing bloggers I'm enjoying these days:

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

working mama: you can't do it all

Someone asked me the other day how I managed to do it all as a working mom with my husband in another state, and I'm pretty sure I looked at them like they were an idiot. Because that sort of comment is idiotic. I know saying "how do you do it all" is meant to be a compliment, but it feels a lot more like an insult.

You mean how do I live my life? Well... that seems a little patronizing and pitying. What exactly do you think I'm doing? I'm not working on the cure to cancer after my desk job and putting my kid to sleep at 7:30pm. I'm mostly sleeping, eating, and reading.

Comments like that also kind of piss me off, because:

  • I don't have it harder than other people. I'm not a single mother. I'm not working for pennies. I'm not married to someone in the military. I'm not sacrificing anything. I'm not sick. I'm not plagued with financial worry (anymore). I'm mostly content, and I don't believe in whining a lot about choices I've made.
  • It doesn't matter if my husband is in the next room or in Alaska, the fact is that I'm the primary caregiver in this family. I'm the person who meal plans, grocery shops, cooks, takes everyone to appointments, budgets, pays the bills, etc. Like most moms if we're being honest. My husband chips in on all of these things when he is able to or when I ask him to, but the truth is that in my marriage I'm better at these things. 
  • I have help in the form of my mom. And if she weren't here then I'd have help in the form of a babysitter/daycare and friends. I don't believe that parents should be islands; if we need help we should ask for it.
  • I do just above the minimum, which is an improvement on my bare minimum work pre-baby.

From what I can tell, everyone has a life they have to keep together and everyone has messes to make and clean up and everyone has someone to take care of even if it's just their self.

But if you really want to know the secret of how my life isn't completely in shambles because I have a kid + a job (the horror!) / my husband is in another state / you're weak and think I am, too / you're smug and want to humblebrag about your life then here: I'm not hard on myself when I fail. If I don't put my laundry up for a week then that's fine with me. I don't do enough cleaning or straightening. There are weeks when I'm feeling pretty good about making dinner three nights and only eating out once or twice.

If it isn't a priority then I just don't care about it.

Monday, April 21, 2014


you can fake your way through it, but what's the fucking point?

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Happy Easter!

I'm about to get crazy by reading a book in the bathtub while my kid naps it out, but I thought I'd just say: hey, it's Easter! Land of chocolate and eggs and bunnies -- three things that should, oddly enough, probably never go together!!

I was sick a with the worst stomach virus anyone was ever sick with on Friday, and then I made the executive decision to stubbornly drive to visit family (8 hours in 1 day, y'all). And THEN I only slept 6 hours last night. So I'm worn out and recovering from... my weekend.

But this lady loves Easter bunnies. I mean bunnies. I mean anything she can hug and kiss that won't scratch her.

PS: I feel like this deserves its own post, but man I hate how people think it's cool to post pictures of Easter baskets/Christmas hauls. If your kid is playing with their new stuff that's cute, but if you're just showing off how much money you spent then you're gross and need to re-evaluate your life priorities.

Friday, April 18, 2014

quick takes: volume 4, the reckoning


is the number of huge screw ups I made at work this week. Not bad. Excuse me while I give myself several pats on the back.


is how many days I am spending in South Carolina with family over the weekend. I'm excited to see everyone, eat yummy food, dye Easter eggs, and see Roo "hunt" said eggs. I'm not excited about driving there and back, Roo's nap and sleep schedule being interrupted, and spending the night not at home. 

As you read this, I'm already there so consider yourself living in the future. 


is the number of new pieces of clothing I bought in the last week. FOR MYSELF EVEN! I got a grey t-shirt to add to my always growing collection, a pair of jean capris, and a pair of black dress pants. I'm still on the fence about the pants -- it's hard to find the right balance between not too skinny and not too loose at the ankle.


is the number of weeks before I see my husband again, and the number of weeks since I last saw my husband. We're right in the middle of an 8 week period of not seeing each other. It's weird! It sucks!

But real talk: I'm more concerned about spending THREE nights and TWO days away from my baby than I am about the EIGHT weeks I've spent away from my husband. I've never spent a single night away from her, and the thought of it is stressing me out.

If you want to see the crazy come out just talk to the mom of a toddler.


is the total number of books I'm currently reading. This list includes: 
Living with a Wild GodOrthodoxyThe Bird Eater, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, and The Hangman's Daughter. I don't know what my record is for number of books read at once, but 4 to 5 is about average for me at any given time. 

Is that weird? I think it's just a habit I got into when I was getting my English degrees, and it feels weird to only read one book at a time. (Though I usually have one book that's the "star" and will get finished first. Right now it's Living with a Wild God.)


is the number of websites I regularly look at on the internet. I'm not going to list them, because. I realized a few years ago that either the internet has gotten very boring and is shrinking or I'm getting very old and specific about what I'm interested in looking at online.


is the number of times I'm guessing I ate today. I'm not lying when I say I ate more than half of a turkey meatloaf. And I am hungry right now.